Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
