So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
