Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
