He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
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