just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
