Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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