the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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