last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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