College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
