when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
