Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
