she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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