Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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