Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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