the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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