I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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