You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
