kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
