LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my being single is dangerous.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
