Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
