Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
