I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
