you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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