ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
