There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
