it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
