Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
