She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
