"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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