I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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