i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
