he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
