so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
