i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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