Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
