i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
