There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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