I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
