She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
