I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
