Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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