look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
