Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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