I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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