just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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