a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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