just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
