I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
