we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
