Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
