thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
