Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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