Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Four minutes until I can fart!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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