You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
