Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
